To The Boy Who Gave Me Herpes

I’m hesitant to call you a “Man” in the title, because I believe your actions prove that you are anything but a “Man.”

You claim to not have known you have herpes. And even though we did use a condom, the black-out night that I had sex with you, I still contracted your life long virus. (https://www.verywell.com/do-condoms-prevent-herpes-3132940)

When I got the lovely call from the doctor, confirming I had contracted your virus, I asked you if you have herpes. You said no…but also seemed extremely comfortable with the topic, mentioning to me its not a “big deal” and some people “never have symptoms.”

Hm. Two thoughts I would NEVER consider to be true, nor would I have ever known some people don’t have symptoms without doing research.

After I begged you to go to the doctor to confirm if you had the virus, weeks later you told me you went, and tested positive. You then proceeded to apologize IF you had given me the virus. Um, you already know YOU DID. After me, rightfully so, freaking out, and telling you that you better tell every woman you ever sleep with now…you blocked my number.

I want to believe you didn’t know, because what kind of monster has sex with people knowing they could be passing along a LIFE altering virus. But, unfortunately, your actions and my gut tell me otherwise.

I don’t want to feel all this negativity, because in the long run, it is just bad for my health. But, it makes me sick thinking you could still be passing along this virus, putting other woman through the pain and suffering I am going through now.

You seemed too knowledgeable and laid back about it, to having JUST been informed that you are positive…and the fact that I am now blocked from contacting you…doesn’t really lend hand to innocence. And if you were actually unaware, what kind of person blocks someone they gave herpes? You think you’d console them, and want to do whatever you could to make it easier for them…not block them…does anyone agree with this?

Anyways, I am a firm believer in Karma, and whether you knew or not, the degree of Karma you deserve will ALWAYS find you.

So, good luck, Rory. I guess all I can do now and should do now, is leave it in the hands of the Universe, and believe you will be rewarded with exactly what you deserve.

Easy Dieting

I honestly believe the easiest way to maintain a healthy body is by how much we eat. Get that? How MUCH…not WHAT we eat. I have been practicing this method for many years now.

I eat whatever I want, I just make sure I don’t over eat. It’s amazing what the body can do. Its ability to process foods is much greater when we haven’t gone overboard.

I also enjoy this method of dieting, because it is better for the planet. When you consume less, you realize your body actually does just fine on less. And just like that, not only does your BMI improve, but your carbon foot print decreases. (Feel free to apply the consume less method in other areas of your life).

This is 100% the easiest route to maintaining a healthy body. Listen to what your body tells you. Eat when you are actually hungry, not because it is “dinner time.” And stop eating when you feel full. If you have difficultly determining fullness try drinking water between bites, chewing for 10-20 seconds, and cutting your meal in half – leaving a portion in the kitchen for later, if need be. I also like to ask myself, “do you need it? or do you just want it?”

It is also thought, that when we think about how we impact others, we are more likely to achieve our goals. So, when you are eating next time, think about how over eating impacts the planet in regards to pollution and waste. Think about the people who are literally dying for a large fry, and think about how that chocolate bar and bag of chips was produced to begin with…(wouldn’t be surprised if it included some unfair labor). Then think, if we all ate the appropriate amounts of food for our bodies, trying to opt for meals that are produced wholly by nature, the food industry would likely become less of a problem for the earth.

And, the best part is, at the end of the day, you reap all the benefits.

Sex & Herpes

Today, I said no to sex for the first time ever. I have a beautiful boyfriend…whom for the first time in a while, tried to seduce me. But, I had to say no, and inform him that unfortunately, I was having a herpes OB at the moment.

Great.

He quickly pulled away and covered himself with the blankets. It is my first OB that we are experiencing “together”. It hurts, physically and mentally. I know it could be worse…I could be alone and have more intense symptoms…but knowing that doesn’t make me any less hurt.

I wish I was a doctor/scientist/someone with the ability to cure herpes.

Anyways, I’ve been applying tea tree oil. This is my second OB. Its definitely worse than the first, but fingers crossed it won’t last as long.

Sad face.

 

Selfie

I think there is a bit of a misconception about the selfie. A lot of people believe posting a selfie can signify low self-esteem, a need for approval, etc. I’ve decided, this must not be entirely true.

When I am depressed, I can hardly look at myself in the mirror, much less consider posting a friggen picture of myself on the internet. When I’m low, I’m very low. My own appearance upsets me.

With that being said, I think maybe we should celebrate the selfie a little more. I’m not saying we should celebrate by posting a photo of our face every day, because thats obviously unnecessary and quite frankly, annoying. But, maybe we should applaud those who feel good enough, to post nothing but a photo of their beautiful face on the internet.

…Maybe a selfie signifies someone giving self love, not being self absorbed.